Frustrated

I'm feeling a little stressed and overwhelmed this holiday season. It's mostly for all the expected holiday reasons, but there are also a few things I'm not ready to discuss.

Jonathan and I still haven't found productive ways to deal with our stress. I took him to urgent care over the weekend because his heart has been racing nonstop lately. I think he just needed to hear that his heart is fine and he's not about to die — and he did hear that, thanks for asking. I know some of my stress affects him as well, and for that I feel incredibly guilty.

One of the many things I'm trying to do is to learn to let things go. I have to-do lists piled all over this house. I'm pretty sure I've put "make to-do list" on a to-do list before. I have serious problems. Some days I feel like my anxiety will kill me.

One thing I've been very frustrated by lately is my apparent lack of time management skills. I have a strong desire to spend more of my time and energy serving others. I know this won't take you by surprise, but I have a list. Yes, I have a list of people I want to serve. I plan to tackle this list before the year's end if it's the last thing I do — and at this rate, it probably will be! These are the things that make my time feel meaningful. Right now, I feel like other things constantly stand in the way. I don't know what to do, other than pray. That is where I'm at.

Please just say a quick prayer for Jonathan and me. We need to find productive outlets for our stress. The things that stress us out are constants, but how we choose to deal with them are the variables in this equation. Yes, I just busted those terms out.