Before I jump to the negatives, let me start with the positives:
I am so grateful that I could enjoy 10 whole weeks with Nora. What a sweet baby girl she is. It has been a blast watching her transition from newborn to baby. I have savored every smile, every cuddle, every coo. I am also thankful that I have a job that has allowed me to take this time. Thankfully, I will be bringing Nora to work with me since the parents at the school fund a childcare/preschool co-op.
Despite all of this gratitude, I'm also afraid. I'm afraid that I will NEVER be on time ever again. The average time of day that I've gotten the two of us ready to step foot out the door is around 1:30 p.m. I'm going to have to wake up EARLY, and I don't do well with sleep deprivation. Not to mention, I'll have 1 million things to pack and carry every day (this from the parent who first went 30 minutes away without Nora's diaper bag and then, practically the next day, brought the diaper bag along sans diapers...).
Also, I get emotional thinking that someone else will be spending the most time with my daughter and, as a result, probably know her better than me :-( I'm terrified that I'll miss her firsts: first word, first time rolling over, etc. I hope someone else doesn't get her best. I'm equally terrified of the germs she'll encounter on a daily basis.
But, all that said, I'm ready for grown up time. I'm ready for a routine. I miss my friends at work and all the ministry opportunities. I'm grateful that my schedule is Monday through Thursday from 8:30 to 3:30. On Fridays, I plan to continue working from home for Life Training Institute, and Nora will hopefully be with her grandparents for the most part, which is really close by.
Please pray for me as I make this transition. Pray that Nora starts sleeping a little later in the morning so I'm not so sleep deprived. Pray that we figure out her eating schedule, since I plan to continue breastfeeding for as long as I can (or until I can no longer stay away from dairy, caffeine, chocolate, alcohol, etc.). Pray that the breastmilk will keep her well despite her new and sudden exposure to germs. And, most importantly, pray that mommy and daddy would be okay with this next step and that we'd trust the able caregivers who will be watching her during the day :-)
Ok, wish me luck.....